really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
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A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to Las Vegas.
Overnight, he has a fantastic run of luck. He stumbles out of the casino and finds a pay phone.
He calls his wife and says, "Honey, pack your bags, I just won over a million dollars in Vegas."
His wife say, "That's wonderful, What should I pack for .... Europe, Asia, the Caribbean?"
He says, "I don't care, just be gone when I get home.
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when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.
Man: "What was that for?"
Wife: "What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it?"
Man: "Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races?, Marylou was the name of one of the horse I bet on."
The Wife looked all satisfied and goes off to work around the house.
Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting.
Man: "What the hell was that for this time?"
Wife: "Your horse called."
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
- The dog, He'll shut up once you let him in. lol
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